|Not Just a Sandwich|
|Season 1, Episode 4|
|Air date||August 3rd, 2015|
|Stuck||The Hospitalized Gig|
Alex and Kyle want to try a new sandwich.
(Alex and Kyle are watching TV)
TV Man: There’s no way that you’re getting my gold, Mr. Lone!
Mr. Lone: Okay then, Dr. James, say your prayers!
(the screen says To Be Continued)
Alex: Aw man! We have to wait a whole week!
Kyle: Ugh! What are we gonna do for a whole week?
(a commercial comes on)
Announcer: Are you bored?
Announcer: Are you hungry?
Announcer: Then visit the Ultimate Bread Store!
Alex & Kyle: Ultimate Bread Store!?
Announcer: We have a new sandwich called the Triple Deluxe Meat Sandwich! It’s basically a chicken nugget, surrounded by bread, surrounded by Turkey, surrounded by bread, surrounded by a mixture of buffalo, bacon and fish! Which is also surrounded by bread. So come to the Ultimate Bread Store for the Triple Deluxe Meat Sandwich! It’s not just a sandwich! It’s a Triple Deluxe Meat Sandwich!
Alex: Dude! We gotta try this!
Kyle: Yeah, but we don’t have any money!
Alex: We could ask Dylan!
(Dylan is there)
Dylan: NO! After that stunt you pulled for wrestling tickets, you’re getting none of my money!
Alex: What if we just take some?
Dylan: You can’t, I put it all in the bank!
Kyle: Aw, come on!
Dylan: For the last time, for the last, FOR THE LAST TIME! NO!
Alex: Dude, let’s get money our own way.
Kyle: But how?
Alex: Well, Dylan’s basically a millionaire and what does he do?
Alex: Exactly. We gotta beg.
(cut to the street)
Alex: Dude, how are we gonna beg?
Kyle: Ugh! Do we have to beg?
Alex: Well we came onto the street, so…
Kyle: So? Haven’t you heard of street performers?
Alex: Good point.
(2 hours later, Alex places a microphone in the ground)
Kyle: 3, 2, 1!
Alex: Give us money! We want mon-Dude. We didn’t even come up with lyrics.
(Suddenly, a black stretched limo pulls up alongside them, a man with slicked hair and a suit walks out)
Alex & Kyle: Whoa! Gerald Baluna! The richest man in the world!
Gerald: Did somebody want money?
Alex: Dude! Gerald Baluna? How much money do you have?
Gerald: Pretty much 7 billion dollars.
Kyle: Look, we wondering, could you give us both $100?
Gerald: What, no! This is MY money! Nobody else’s!
Alex: Dude, you’re a multi-billionaire, we’re not even dozenaires.
Gerald: Don’t make me call for backup!
Kyle: It’s just $200. That must be like, a pencil to you!
Gerald: If you want a pencil, you must want to draw a picture! Well, picture this; My private army coming along and destroying you!
Alex: Whoa, whoa! You brought this on yourself, you came here first asking if we asked for money, why would you do that if you’re not gonna give us any?
Gerald: To make you jealous.
Alex: Aw what?
Gerald: Anyway! Enough blaspheme! (he gets a button out of his pocket and he presses it, as this happens, helicopters come along with tanks, soldiers and more)
Kyle: Is that the army?
Alex: Dude! We can’t fight the army!
Gerald: This isn’t the army! This is Gerald Baluna Security System!
Alex: All we wanted was a sandwich!
Guy in Tank: Sandwich this. (he fires a missile at Alex)
Gerald: Ha ha ha! You’re dumb dingo friend is dead! Now surrender or you’re next!
Kyle: No! (a missile gets fired at him, causing him to die as well)
(the explosion can be heard at the city hall)
Jim: Did you hear that?
Mike: I bet Alex and Kyle would love to have heard this! I’m gonna call them!
(Mike gets a phone and calls Alex)
Phone Message: Hello. We are sorry, but the phone’s number which you are attempting to call has blown up. Thank you.
Mike: Wait, Alex’s phone has been blown up?
Dylan: There was an explosion. WE NEED TO PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS!
(music plays as Dylan grabs a light machine gun, Jim grabs a pistol and Mike grabs a knife, but drops it and runs away)
(cut to the place where Gerald was with Alex and Kyle)
Gerald: This wouldn’t have happened if that stupid dingo didn’t start to sing-o!
(Dylan and Jim show up)
Dylan: Wait, wait, wait. Hmmm, yep that’s Alex, hmmm, that’s Kyle. Hm.
Gerald: So, um. Okay.
Dylan: Yeah. YOU KILLED THEM! (he shoots Gerald and a few soldiers) JIM! KILL SOMEONE!
Jim: Uh-(he fires his pistol and hits a soldier)-Whoa! Awesome!
Guy in Mega Tank: So you don’t like rich people, huh? Missile Three, sent by me.
(Mike then shows up)
Mike: NO! (he’s holding an RPG) Missile Three, Unnecessary. Rocket One, say goodbye to your life being on. (he fires a rocket at them)
(there is a massive explosion)
(everybody is now on the floor next to Alex and Kyle, crying)
Jim: Rest in Peace, Alex and Kyle.
(cut to their gravestones)
Dylan: Alex and Kyle, I need to speak to you. Wherever you are now. So it’s important for you to know that the guy who killed you is now dead. We know you wanted these sandwiches, so I got you both one each. (he places their sandwiches on their graves)
(Dylan walks off)
(the screen shows the guy’s graves)
(their heads pop out)
Kyle: Dude, are you alive?
Alex: I think so.
Kyle: Dude, it’s the Triple Deluxe Meat Sandwich!
Alex: Aw Yeah! The sandwiches being there must have woke us up!
Kyle: Wait, so we never were dead?
Alex: What, no! I had a nice painful dream about seeing Gerald Baluna in his underwear.
Kyle: Aw, dude! How was that nice?
Alex: It was nice to think he doesn’t go commando.
Kyle: Oh, should we get out now?
(they climb out their graves and eat pick up their sandwiches, but once they are picked up, they fall apart)