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The Job
Season 1, Episode 8
Vital statistics
Air date September 14, 2015
Written by Brook O Roonie & Josh Pollitt
Directed by Team Orangutan
Episode guide
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The Job is the seventh episode of An Average Cartoon.

Summary Edit

Alex discovers something big at his new job.

Characters Edit

Transcript Edit

(Alex is in a field)

Alex: (on phone) Okay, Dylan. I’m ready!

Dylan: Okay, great.

(Alex runs over to some gangsters)

Alex: Hey there, citizens. May I just ask what you are doing?

Gangster: Yo, get of our territory, bro!

Alex: Then why don’t you tell me what’s so interesting inside your bag?

Gangster: Oh, you wanna see? I’ll make it your friend, alright? 

(the gangster pulls out a machine gun)

Alex: Holy crud!

(the gangster starts firing, but misses Alex)

Alex: Agh! Get away from me!

(cut to the City Hall)

Alex: I couldn’t get away from them. 

Dylan: Ugh, Alex, I have something I need to tell you.

Alex: Okay, what is it?

Dylan: I AM TIRED OF YOUR EXCUSES! IT’S TIME TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT, YOU’RE FIRED!

Alex: What? I’m fired? How am I supposed to earn money?

Dylan: YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND A NEW JOB!

Alex: Fine, I’ll get a new job, a new and better job, you’ll see!

(Kyle walks in)

Kyle: Oh, you’re fired? Then, I quit too.

Alex: No man, you keep the job, I’ll see you some time.

(cut to a work office)

Alex: Uh, hey. I’m Alex, the new intern.

Woman: Ah, hello. I’m Janice, I’m your new boss. Be good, okay? Otherwise, there will be consequences.

Alex: So, what do I have to do?

Janice: That’s easy. Just write book reports.

Alex Uh, are you sure, I don’t exactly read.

Janice: Who’s your boss?

Alex: You.

Janice: Then do as I say.

Alex: Fine.

(cut to Alex reading a book)

Alex: And then the sky turned grey, like the end of the world, as dark as a-Ugh! This is so boring!

Guy: Heh, you find this job boring too?

Alex: Yeah, I hate books!

Guy: I’m Randall, another intern here, well, heh. Wanna know a secret?

Alex: Sure. 

Randall: (whispers) I’m a Grütish spy!

Alex: What?

Randall: I know it’s hard to believe, but-

Alex: YOU MEAN AS IN GRÜTLAND? A SPY FROM THAT COUNTRY?

Randall: Yep.

Alex: Dude! You almost caused World War III!

Randall: I know! Cool, am I right?

Alex: No! Grütland shouldn’t even exist anymore!

Randall: Well, it does.

Alex: Yeah, the country does, but the society shouldn’t!

Randall: Do you mind shutting up?

Alex: Or what?

(Randall whistles and a load of small ships come)

Randall: ALMOST caused World War III? You mean we have just caused World War III? 

Alex: Go away!

Randall: Or what?

(Alex whistles, but nothing happens)

Randall: Ha! Who were you gonna call? Your mom?

Alex: Okay, seriously. Why does everybody call it their mom? We’re in Australia! It’s mum! Not Mom! (Alex presses a button in his pocket)

(Kyle, Mike, John and Jim teleport into the room)

Kyle: What?

John: You got explaining to do!

Alex: Yes, John! I do have explaining to do! These guys here are Grütish spies and they are trying to start a third world war!

Randall: This isn’t World War III! Seriously, if you check the timeline for all of time, a third world war never happens. 

Kyle: It’s been like 70 years since World War II! A second one is never gonna happen!

(Janice runs in)

Janice: What is going on here? Why is there tiny space ships in my library!?

Alex: Janice! Run!

(Janice starts laughing)

Janice: Yes, I too am a Grütish spy. I came into a library pretending to be the owner, I hid poison in all of the pages! 

Jim: I rented like 40 books from this place. (he suddenly melts)

Alex, Kyle, John, Mike: AARGH!!

Alex: Wait, I was just reading some of your books!

Janice: Exactly! Us Grütish people are immune to it but as for you Australians…

(Alex melts)

Janice: Grütish! Destroy them!

Kyle: No! 

(a janitor comes in)

Janitor: Uhh, sorry. I noticed there was a mess on the floor. (he uses the vacuum cleaner and he cleans up Jim, who then pops out of the bag) Uh, AARGH!!! (he runs away)

(Kyle also runs away)

Mike: KYLE! COME BACK!

Jim: It’s his time now, I knew when my time had come, and now it’s his time. To come? Wait, what?

Janice: Anyway, where was I? DESTROY THEM!

(The Grütish start firing their weapons)

John: Agh! (he jumps behind a wall with Mike and Jim)

Kyle: STOP RIGHT THERE! (he has a vacuum cleaner)

Janice: What? Where did you get that?

Kyle: The city hall!

(he vacuums over Alex’s remains and he pops out of the bag)

Randall: Next Target: Dylan Grutling!

Alex: Wait, is Dylan a traitor? His last name is Grutling? As in Grütland maybe?

Kyle: I dunno. Hey, where’s the Grütish gone?

Jim: The city hall! They must have! 

(cut to the city hall)

Dylan: Ah! There you are! (he grabs a book) Better get this back to the library!

Grütish Guard: I don’t think so!

(Dylan melts as Alex and Kyle run in)

Alex: What!? What happened?

Janice: He rented a book!

Alex: Grr! (he crunches his fist, so does Kyle, they bro fist each other and turn into another Dingo/Pig monster)

Monster: GET LOST! (it punches Janice, an explosion happens and when it has calmed down, Alex and Kyle are individuals again)

Kyle: Heh, eat it Janice!

(Alex grabs a vacuum cleaner and sucks up Dylan’s remains, he pops out of the bag)

Dylan: YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! You saved my life! Welcome back, Alex!

Randall: (coughing) What about me? 

Alex: The Grütish? ARE DEAD!

(Alex steps on Randall)

Randall: Ugh!

(all the Grütish are all dragged into a jail cell)

Dylan: You’re under agh-agh-aaaa-choo! (he sneezes) Arrest. Blah-blah-blah, Miranda’s rights. 

Alex: You’re a cop and you don’t even know your miranda’s rights?

Dylan: I don’t arrest people!

Kyle: (sighs) You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney. 

Dylan: SHUT UP! I DON’T CARE ABOUT MRS. MIRANDA AND HER RIGHTS!!!!!

Jim: I’m surprised Dylan hasn’t been fired yet.

(The End)

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